THE MEANING OF LETTING GO…
‘Making a difference’ is a phrase that must not be taken for granted. I have been in this business and hence, I know that this can consume and conspire against you — all at once.
I have started the first academic and art school in India for Autism. We are a struggling school and we struggle for resources, we struggle for love, we struggle for finances and we also struggle for respect. The intention was to always do what is right for the children.
My motivations and passion comes from the fact that as a child I struggled with dyslexia, a condition everyone popularly coined as ‘the lazy or dumb children syndrome’. It was an invisible disorder and the consequences of having something like that have had a huge impact on me. I felt invisible and isolated at most times and my parents could not help me as they themselves were not aware of the mere existence of such a condition. Being a parent is probably the most difficult thing to do in these challenging times.
Today with my teens with autism I sense the exact same thing. I have a bunch of teens whose lives are being designed by the very same adults who are completely out of sync when it comes to connecting with their needs. Of course just like my parents, all these parents also do what they deem fit, but the true question is whether we are really doing something that fits the child. I am at a crossroads and it is in times like these when I listen to the solutions that are offered or put on the table by many parents and I know that they are so far away from reality when it comes to what their own child needs and desires.
Unfortunately, every invisible disorder also bring a lack of confidence and lack of communication in place. I find it very isolating even now, when I am sitting and watching the parents who are taking decisions for the future of these kids without giving them any agency or even making the effort to evaluate what is fit and what is not. I watch the kids at school flourish and be so happy and worry that it may not last very long and when it gets tough, they will not even be able to fight back effectively because they cannot go against their parents. At the end of the day, they do know that their survival depends on them.
But, I wonder if it is right to do what we are doing without being emphathetic, by making decisions that are convenient as opposed to convincing, by giving up because it is too tough a stretch and by living inside one’s comfort zone and expecting someone else to bear the burdens. I worry for the kids because I know that they will be unhappy and still unable to express, I worry because they will not be able to fight for themselves, I worry because they will suppress it all and then one day there will be a breakdown and a point of no return.
All I can do is worry and continue to work in the hope that someday what I say will be accepted and someday what I feel will be realized without us having to pay the price for it with wasted human lives. I do not believe that anyone can understand what I feel because you are not me, but yes as always everything will be judged and I will eventually be set aside because that is the easiest thing to do. It’s no more about doing the right thing or the humane thing because it is too tough and so it is meaningful to let it all go!